I Would Rather
by Lkirsten394
Summary: Draco is to befriend Hermione in order to gain her trust...and must kill her afterwards. What will happen when Hermione helps Draco in a way that he thought not possible. With his life and his family's life on the line, what will Draco do? Pleas R&R!
1. Draco's Mission

"As we all know, Potter's friends are the reason why he is so successful in his narrow escapes. By eliminating his assistance, Potter will become more accessible." Voldemort gives one sweep around the dining room, which was once festive at Christmas time. Nagini, his snake from hell, slithers onto the table with a disgustingly silent move. "So, It has come to me that we must kill the brains in Potter's group in order to succeed."

"My Lord, does that mean we must kill the Granger girl?" Aunt Bella says with glee. "My Lord, I beg of you. Can I kill her?" I keep my eyes trained on the snake. For fear that the snake might have un-snakily abilities, can it sense the fear I feel? There is a murmur of excitment around the table, but I keep my mouth shut.

"Bellatrix, although I admire your...enthuasiasim, I do not favour your lack of patience." Voldemort says. Aunt Bella immediately leans back into her chair and casts her eyes downward.  
"But yes, we must kill Granger and Albus Dumbledore."  
Another murmur of excitement. I try not to fidget in my seat, I try to sit as normally as I can. At least I don't have to do it. At least I do not have to face Granger or the old bag and kill them. Coward. I tell myself. Keeping my eyes on the snake, my hands in my lap and my back straight, I listen to Voldemort as he continues.  
"Now..." He stands up with a horrible screech of the chair, and for the first time since the snake slithered up onto the table, I look up. Voldemort is walking down the length of the table and I pray to the muggle God that he does not stop at my family.  
"I must choose who will kill them, Severus, you will kill Albus Dumbledore. I assume he trusts you?" he stops and looks at Snape. We all look at Snape. But without missing a beat or without a quiver in his voice he says, "Yes, My Lord."  
He keeps walking. I don't look over my shoulder, but I hear his footsteps echoing on the marble tiles getting closer. And closer. Until finally, "Draco. You will kill the Granger girl."  
I see from the corner of my eye that my mother has tensed up. I look up at Voldemort's red eyes and snake-like face, and nod. Hoping and praying with all my might, he will go away. And that will be it. But it's a waste of time.  
"Draco my boy, in order to become a death eater, you must befriend the Granger girl before you kill her."  
There is a small outburst and I stare at him like he might be crazy, and maybe he is. Suddenly I realize it might have been a mistake, because with a flick of his wand, I could be dead. But instead he makes his way back to his seat and even though I have just been given a mission to become a killer, I am relieved. As Voldemort hushes the crowd, a million things run through my mind all at once. It makes me feel like that time I ate too much chocolate frogs as a little kid. My stomach flipping and flopping, dropping and rumbling. I grip my wand in my hands and force myself to look into his eyes.  
"Before Draco kills her, he must earn her trust. To earn her trust, he must befriend her. Before the girl dies, we will try to get as much information about Potter as possible. So you Draco, must bring her here for a visit. Draco...if you succeeded you will be greatly rewarded. If not, then you and your family will pay for you foolish mistakes just like your father. That way, we will know where your loyalty lies. You may go, as you are not a death eater yet, this does not concern you."

I get up slowly and make sure my mask is on so nobody can tell what I'm feeling. I walk at a faster pace, and force my twitching leg not to run. Do I even know what I'm feeling? I must befriend the mud blood, and when I know her trust in me is real, I have to betray her. I have to bring her hear to this abominable place that I once called home. I push these thoughts away and think of my family. I think of my mother, whom has loved me through everything. Who still kisses me on the forehead and whispers 'I love you' even though The Dark Lord could easily kill her. All the while my father watches and doesn't so much as give me a hug. Not that I need one from him. His foolish mistakes have lead our family to be a laughing stalk of Voldemort's side, and more worse brought up a terrible sadness in my mother. As atrocious as my family may seem at the moment, they are family nevertheless. So it is clear, kill Hermione Granger or suffer the unbearable consequence of my cowardice to kill her. Voldemort may very well kill all of us, I imagine. As I turn the doorknob to my bedroom door, I remember the detail that may very well be the decision to my success. I must befriend the mud blood. Befriend! What a joke. What an utterly ridiculous thing to ask of me, Draco Malfoy, whom she has hated since first year. Blood-statuses aside, she is bossy and quite a bitch, if I am trying to describe her.

I plop down on my bed, and for once, since the moment I woke up, I relax my tense muscles. Hell, even my face is sore. I shake my head and try to think of ways to become her friend. It's not impossible, I know that. I can do this. All I have to do, is make her believe that...that what? That I changed for the better good? No, it has to be something more simple than that. She started that rubbish, S.P.E.W, I guess that means rights are important to her. After a couple more minutes of mulling it over, I snap my fingers and sit upright in my bed. I smile to myself, mentally clapping myself on my back. All I have to do, is make Granger think that I have forgotten about blood-statuses. Simple as she is, It shouldn't be hard. I pride myself on getting that over S.P.E.W. Tomorrow, I should have this in a bag. Hermione Granger will be my friend, and alongside the betrayal part, it will be easy.

_My family is going to be okay. We're going to be fine._

_The next day._

As we wait on platform 9 and 3/4 for the train, my father goes off into the crowd saying he will be right back.

_I hope the train arrives before he comes back. _After he is not visible anymore, my mother leans down and whispers in my ear.

"Draco, sweety, I have a plan to help-" She begins. But before she can go on, I interupt her.

"No mother, I can do this myself." I turn to face her. "Mother, I can do this. It's got to be simple. Befriending her, I mean. It's Granger we're talking about. The mud blood is too forgiving." I say this calmly and like my old self. Before The Dark Lord punished my father. Before he moved into my home. Before I asked to become a Death Eater. Although I sound calm, that is not what I feel inside. Inside it is havoc, like a natrual disaster. She inspects my face for a tell, but damn lucky me, I can hide them. Tears spring her eyes and she nods her head quite stiffly.  
"Alright...I...I will stay out of it." She pulls me in for a hug, and I greatfully take it. But I have a strong feeling she has lied to me. She sniffles and wipes her nose with a hankerchief what seemed to manifest from nowhere. I bet it has.

"The train should be here, hadn't it?" She says. And as if on cue, the train rolls up. We say our goodbyes, and I prepare myself for the beginning of my mission


	2. Blaise Zabini

**Draco Malfoy**

**Disclaimer: J.k Rowling owns this totally wonderful series.**

I am to do my prefect rounds, starting from where Gryffindors are packed. I grumble as my morning couldn't have gotten any worse. First I have to face the Gryffindorks and one whole fuckin' train and not one glimpse of Granger. Not even in the Prefects compartment. You would think I would run into her at least once, but no. Of course not. To let go of some of my frustration, I plan on scaring first years. But I change my mind at the last second. Word of what I was doing could travel to a certain Gryffindor. Stewing in my anger, I start to make my way back to the Slytherin side of the train when I run into Blaise Zabini.

"Oh, Draco, done scaring first years I see." He chuckles lightly as he takes a bite of an apple.

"Yes, because I hadn't got anything better to do than to be preoccupied by damn first years." I don't mention that I was planning to of course.

"Wow, changed man I see." He doesn't know how much of an understatment that is. I feel a pang of sorrow in the pit of my stomach but I push it down. I look down the hall of the train and grateful that everybody is inside their compartments. Even if they weren't I have the power to make them go back in. Blaise is one of my least annoying friends. The few that don't make me want to crucio myself-if my wand would allow it of course. Blaise is just as clever as I, and useful. Suddenly I have an idea. I open one of the compartment doors and am faced with four first years. I glare at them and growl, "Get out."

They do as they are told, trying to gather all of the sweets they have bought. Impatient as I am with first years I snap, "Leave them, you'll have the compartment back soon." They stare wide eyed at me and file out quickly, all the while Blaise watches me with a puzzled look on his face.

"Get in." I say to Blaise. He raises his eyebrows, takes another bite of his apple but obliges. Once the compartment door is closed and locked I sit in the seat oppposite to him.

"Draco, girls are more my thing. But if they weren't I would preferably not want someone like you." He has a humorous look on his face but I just cringe.

"Shut up you prat," only I am half-joking. "I need your help."

"Oh yes, Draco Malfoy come to the Great for help."

I frown. Mainly because he has just called himself _great. _The other half is due to the fact that I am asking for help. It makes me sound so...incapable. But I do need help. Asking for help depends on my mother's life and my own, I would do it all the time. Even If people started to see me as weak and think of my incapability to do stuff on my own. I sigh heavily and shake my head.

"I...I have a mission Blaise." I avert my eyes. The words swim in my head all individually waiting to be connected into a proper sentence. The order of the way I should say it is also a factor in my difficulties to say this properly. "The Dark Lord has given me a mission and I need your help to fufill his wishes..." I whisper. It is quiet for a moment and I am afraid he will say no for the remaining silence...just for a couple of seonds. If he does say no, I can do this on my own. Who needs him?

"What do you have to do...?" He asks cautiously, his half eaten apple lay forgotton on the comfy seats. I pick up a chocolate frog and open it. I quickly grab the frog before it jumps away and look at the card. It's Dumbledore. I only look at his face for a few seconds before I throw the barmy old man. I'm so glad I don't have to face his kind self and even more wise face and kill him.

"The Dark Lord wishes me to...befriend Granger." I whisper. I take a bite of the frog's head and savour the sweet chocolate.

"Are you joking? Good one, Draco!" He begins to laugh. I am suddenly filled with rage. My patience is short today and this is what sets me off. I guess it's from the lack of sleep. Or the never lacking negative emotions I have been feeling all summmer when my father was punished. When our family was punished. Today is no different from yesterday. Little to none patience...fear...

I stand up quickly, fuming and looking down at Blaise's cool face.

"A joke? You think this is a fucking joke? I am sorry if your dim mind did not pick up that nobody jokes about The Dark Lord!" My voice starts to rise and I can't even hope that the door muffles my voice a bit. "I have to befriend the mudblood and then I have to face her...and kill her, Blaise." I hadn't realized I was half shouting, almost spitting in Blaise's face. I stand, still fuming in front of him. The humorous look that was on his face just seconds ago has fallen off and replaced. I sit back down. The silence streches on and I sit there, feeling utterly stupid eating my chocolate frog. You know those times where you have made a mistake and the longer you sit and think about it the more stupid you feel? That's how I feel now. I avoid Blaise's eyes and stare out the window. The London scene has been traded from fields and cattle to great deep green rolling hills and green blurs of trees. I watch the trees go buy and wish I hadn't said anything to him. It was probably best that I had kept this to myself.

"Oh well, I never like mudblood anyway...one piece of filth off this earth." I whisper between bites of chocolate. "I believe it should be easy...after all Granger is too easy."

"Too easy?" Blaise bursts. I look back to him. "This is the girl whom you have bullied since first year, hates your guts and is clever as hell, shes would get suspious the moment you speak to her."

I admit, he's right. But I'm not going to say so. It would hurt my pride. I heave a heavy sigh.

"I just have to convince her that I have forgotten about blood-statuses. Rights are important to her, are they not?" I say. He raises his eyebrows; which reminds me strangly of mother. He scolws at the now brown apple.

"I suppose," He shrugs. "I will help you. But maybe try not to call her a mudblood every few seconds. And you're going to have to do more than that, Draco."

I nod, knowing he is right. Again I am feeling a bit irritated; he sounds like he is chastising me. Although at the same time I am extremly grateful and relief spreads throughout me. I open my mouth, about to say something when something hits the compartment door. We both look and I assume it is the first years.

I huff, "Stupid first years." Blaise gets up before I do and unlocks the door. He walks out, looking both ways down the hall before turning.

I look down the hall and the first years are huddled in a group; a fair way down. I frown, confused. What could that noise have been? It could have been nothing. But this train is not full of nothing. It is fulled with Witches and Wizards. I get suspicious and look for something. Anything really. Everything is silent with the exception of the rattling train and the first years' quiet chattering.

"Draco, are you coming?" Blaise's voice shatters my concentration and pulls me back. I shake my head slightly trying to clear my thoughts. I turn around and follow Blaise back to the Slytherin side of the train._ Things will be okay, Mother._

_**A/N; WASSSUUUUP? Sorry you had to wait so long. Well, another short chapter. I know it's taking a while to get the ball rolling but I don't want things so go too fast. I've read tons of Dramione fanfics were they hate eachother one chapter and hopelessly in love in the next.**_

_**Please review, it motivates me to keep writing.**_


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